Increase Him, Decrease me!

Wow, time flies and it's September now. I couldn't imagine that life is full of challenges and surprises. God has His plan for me. I'm still learning a lot from Him through circumstances, problems, friends and family. I know that without Him, I'm totally nothing. 

There are a lot of things I wanted to do to boost up my income. Somehow rather I'm not the expert. All I'm expert in is to listen and counsel people. HAHA...Most of them suggested me to study counseling. Anyway, it's not my cup of tea yet and who knows, in the future I might be.
I just want to complete my master course a.s.a.p. but not the right timing yet. I've decided to put a stop till end of this year. I wanted to take but I scare I can't cope up with it. I want to do it at my own pace. I know I shouldn't rush to just to finish it but to enjoy the process of learning. Well, it's kinda forever learning, non stop, and He is still molding me. 

Every day, I will discipline myself to have quiet time with Him in the Morning. It's compulsory!!! This week, my colleague won't be around and I'm left alone. How lonely? Yes, this is the problem with me, I hate to be alone in the office. Who is free then to ask me for lunch and probably spend time with me? At home? Yes, my parents and brother... God has indeed teaching me to depend on Him even though I'm going to be alone in the future. I've been praying that He will satisfy my desire. God is Awesome =) He is my real teacher. 

I've decided to go back to my cell group though, where I know I can be a blessing to each of them. I'm thankful to cg members who care and love me even though I've been missing more than 2 months plus. In the last two months, I learned that He cares even to the tiniest detail in life. I don't want to run away. It's disappointing and heartbreaking, but I know I can overcome it if I fully submit and surrender to Him. He is teaching me to trust Him completely. I don't want lose this faith and run away just because I think it's hard to bear or face it. And I attended Church yesterday after been missing for quite some time. I know I need to continue to pray for them. I still love my church and want to be a part of intercessor!

Yesterday, I decided to to put a stop in this friendship. I know I'm still expecting him to respond and care as a friend or brother in Christ. But you see, if a friend is just one sided who cares about another party, what's the point of having this friendship? I know I've done my best to encourage and pray for him. Of course, I don't wish that he will reply or respond but this will still trigger my feeling as in thinking is it worth the friendship with him? or I'm just one sided friendship, whereby I feel neglected. I know he is in God's good hand. I want to let go the whole friendship to Him and I don't want to carry this burden for being a caring friend or sister in Christ. I deleted his phone contact, so in the future I won't have chance to contact him. By doing so, I think I can overcome it fully. Trusting God I can totally forget about him.

All the things I have I'm learning to submit and surrender, a long life time process. :) But indeed, God is patience and loving. I just want to be His follower every day. Oh yea, I have been reading devotional from utmost.org. Hope you can visit and know Him every day.

God bless! xoxo Serena