What am I up to?

Decisions/choices are hard to choose....Anyway, I think I need to leave it to God to guide me..

Just came back from a movie >< 'Old Dogs'... release tension... Had a great laugh in the cinema...

What happened? On last Mon, I had assessment done with my Director... Tue, clients changed the appointments out of sudden, feel pissed, still couldn't get new accounts and I'm going dead soon for not reaching the target. Have the fear that my Director will compare me and other colleagues soon, and worse case scenario, I prepare to leave anytime soon but I in loved the working enviroment as well as my closest colleagues. But I hate those updating work in the office like report, sales funnel, schedule of the week, research... all of it... I'm feeling a bit lazy to do... Really don't have the mood to work after what had happened to my family. I was thinking of e excel but could I really excel in direct marketing business?

And I wonder what is working life? Work only to survive??? But still not as successful like other people, God knows... what is my purpose? Seems like I really lost the sense of direction...back to square one - where am I heading to? I need to go back to God because I have been disobedient to Him.