Really tired.... spiritually and physically

I have not been feeling good lately, about my job and my life purposes.

Felt like I have a lot to think about. Recently, I've been waiting for bonus, never been expected to get the amount and an salary raised. I was quite speechless despite of all negative comments about my boss from my colleagues. During the appraisal, I was totally moody and show no interest, but she praised me (I feel like I shouldn't get praise but it's all from God).

I'm very sinful because I was part of the gossip and complaint group. I don't know how to describe it but I felt like I need to separate myself and be righteous in whatever I do. I thank God for the increment.

I really need time to re-think what is the purpose in my life? I don't know. I went for an interview but the company didn't attract me much (maybe I'm too demanding), the interviewer didn't answer my question about the salary. Should I change job? Isn't it the same thing... sigh...

I don't know, feeling impatient to wait for His answer. He is not answering me. I want to do something different but whom, when and where can I turn to? When is the right time?

I'm lost, please pray for me. I urgently need His guidance. I want to move on. I don't want to waste my life in this working world. I want more people to know You. I have the urge but I don't know the direction.

I like the idea of Pastor Jaeson Ma in his Blueprint book. I want all those who are studying in college will get a copy! It explains clearly how you can start your own church planting.....

That's all I can type... I need to pray a lot. I need my Holy Spirit to tell me what to do...