Everything I do is meaningless....

This Morning, mom suddenly cried and have that kind of feeling 'hatred' towards dad... Her anger rose suddenly. Sad. I know mom is hurt but what can I do? Grandma is the innocent one because she get scolded by mom when taking a shower.

Dad can't tolerate whenever mom brings up the word 'hiring' a maid to help out. Just because he does not have the trust in a stranger, he has his way of saying 'NO' to mom directly without listening and giving mom a chance to talk. Mom ended up crying every time. I know mom is strong but sometime she just couldn't hold her emotion. BUT all these years I thought dad is very understanding.. my good impression towards him slowly fade..I don't know who is this dad anymore. The one I used to love but now... I could not..Almost everyday, we have argument over tiny things.

Mom is tired, I know. Almost everyday, she needs to cook for the family because he does not eat outside food. Me and my bro wouldn't mind ordering outside food at all. Every time I told mom to take alternative date to cook, she insists that dad had taken care of granny for three days every week, he will love to have a good meal. Mom is working for three days and the other two days, she is risking her job to take unpaid leaves every week (now two months in a row) because dad has ordered her to take. I feel so sorry for mom because she needs to wake up early to bath granny and gets everything in order, and sleeps late.

Why can't dad be more understanding....All he knows is HIS WAY NO ONE ELSE! Even when doing chores or helping grandma when she needs to go to the loo, he doesn't like the ways we (me and bro) do means HE DOES NOT! He has his way of doing things. Sometimes, he makes me and bro don't like him and me especially, don't give a damn and ignore him. I will leave everything for him to do. What can I do? Just don't care! I have emotion too. I feel like he does not appreciate his daughter or son. I felt the pain in heart because he is not the dad I used to look up to....a Christian and loving dad.

Mom is suffering fingers numbness every morning and a few times a day..Someone told me that this might be blood pressure problem which might lead to heart problem and even stroke. I'm worry for her. What can I do as a daughter? Atm, I'm trying my best to ask her to take some nutrition supplement and cure her numbness. God? Please heal her.. If she has problem too, I think I don't know how to live anymore.

Really God? is this family is going to split as mom and dad are not depending on You anymore.. I feel your presence begins to disappear in this home.. I'm lost. I know you are there but what can I do? Nothing, but only certain times to pray... I did not attend Church long time ago. I know that my Spirit is trying me to lead me back to Church but due to my stubborn head.. I didn't want to go. I don't know why. Since last year, I don't have the urge to go or to read Your Words, and I don't feel guilty at all. Am I a lost child again? I really want my happy family back...........